Grief Journal: Down Into the Dark

Every so often, grief strikes again.

The more time that passes, the more guilt and pain I feel. It’s really sinking in that he is never, ever coming back and I cannot undo my mistakes nor change what happened. I didn’t do the one job I have as parent—I didn’t keep him safe. 

I am never going to hug him, or hear his voice, or tell him I love him, not ever again.

I’ve been going down, down, down into a dark abyss of pain. I cling to the warm light of my husband, my daughter, my son, my friends. But it’s a tiny light, and the darkness is very deep. 

I don’t know what I’ll be when (if?) I ever come back into the light.

One thought on “Grief Journal: Down Into the Dark

  1. Hugs. Grief is so very hard. It seems like the darkness is never ending. But I promise, it will get better. Not today. Not tomorrow. Probably not next month. But someday, it will ease to the point where it becomes manageable. Hang in there.

    Like

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